Reading Response: “Did I Miss Something?” by Lowell Putman

Critical thinking

1) Marriage is made to be a lifetime long. That is why society speaks of divorce in hushed tones. People going through a divorced want to have privacy. At that time, the divorced couple many be embarrassed. The once married couple thought the other people was their soul mate. Society has not got over the fact that most marriages do end in divorce.

2) I think divorce is simply a way of life. Divorce to me is better than being in an unhealthy relationship around children. Children become use to their way of life of having each parent in a different household. As Putman described, divorce can even play an advantage in children.

3) Most divorced people don’t like to talk about their divorced. Society has linked a bad reputation with people who have divorces. Divorced people tend to try and keep their divorced a secret. Society has negative feelings with getting a divorce.

4) Parental relationships affect children tremendously. Children life consists of their day to day lives. Divorced children, now have two homes instead of one. Children will start to think of both places as their homes. As Putman says, “My parents’ divorce is a true part of who I am.” Personally, I think divorced children don’t think of their selves much different than any other children. The love parents have for their children will not change because of divorced. To me, divorced is better than children living with parents with unhealthy relationships. No child wants to see their parents in an unhealthy relationship. Children will start thinking they’re the problem in their parents’ relationship. Throughout life, this will have a negative effect on them. Parents have a lot of influence over their children. Children will most of the time follow in their parents’ footsteps.

5) I agree with Putman definition of what makes a good parent. Parents don’t have to be together in marriage to be good parents. To me, love has nothing to do with material things. In some cases of divorce, love is the driving force. Parents would rather put aside their wants and needs for the sake of their children,

6) There are two perspectives of divorce. One perspective is says it is selfish to get a divorce. These people believe that the parent is being selfish by putting their needs and wants before their children. To me, I think the parents are being selfish by not getting a divorce. Most parents don’t get a divorce because of how our society feels about them. Instead, the parents stay in a unhealthy relationship around their children. I agree with the second perspective that divorce is a sacrifice. Parents get divorce out of having love for their children. I believe it is better to be divorce than to have children around unhealthy relationships. Parents give up having the other spouse financial support when getting a divorce. That one parent has to financial do what both parents did.

7) In the eyes of divorced children both parents are still their family. Each half of both parents make up children’s whole family. If Putman had used the plural form of “family” that would indicates having two separate families. Putman explains that divorced parents make up who he is as one person. The word family best fits his explanation of divorce to him.

Critical Writing

3)

            Divorced is something most people don’t tend to talk about on a daily basis. In our society, the word divorced comes with negative feelings. That is why people in divorces feel that they need to do everything in secrecy.  In fact, more and more people today are having divorces. My own parents are divorced now. That is why I could agree with what Putman was saying in his essay. My parents divorced out of love for me. To me, it is selfish to have children in unhealthy environments for the children sake. Getting a divorce is something that is not easy. The selfish thing would be, being so worried about what the society thinks of divorce not to get one. I don’t think their divorce has negatively affected me. Even though my parents live in two separate households I still think of them as being my family. Both of my parents love me no differently because of the divorce they went through.